I was going to write this note about something else. I can't remember what that subject was because at the moment I have a memory like a crack riddled goldfish. I have yet to develop gills or a taste for crack so I'm guessing this isn't the reason for my piss poor memory.

But I got distracted when I saw a note written by a friend saying how he is now going to quit smoking. When people I know stop smoking I feel like I've lost a friend, a comrade in arms. Who is going to keep me company on the cancer wards if all my mates have stopped smoking? It's just plain selfish I tells ya. I don't want to die without other people suffering my fate.

It's not just that though. It's the tide of anti-smoking that's gripped the nation at the moment. I've expressed my views on the Scottish smoking ban ad nauseam already, so no need for that. I just get a little annoyed when people direct their hate at me for choosing to do something I enjoy.

Don't they understand? I'm not the problem, fat people are.