'Get back yer bastards or I'll take your legs off!' screamed the Prime Minister.

For those of you who arrived late, that was the end of a hilarious joke. Try and show up on time in future. Crap opening gags aside, I feel it is time once again to write about my life for no other reason than to provide some enlightenment for those of you who have nothing better to do than read this. Get a job!

Hmmm... where to start. Well, the two shows I'm in at the moment, The Life of Evariste Galois and Britannicus are going well, which is always nice. Especially given that Galois is on tomorrow, and Britannicus in a week. Both wonderful shows that you all should come to blah blah blah. Seriously though, come. Otherwise I'll end up back at my flat nursing a bottle of whiskey. Which I'll probably end up doing anyway, but that's not the point.

On a lighter note, I got an Xbox360! Woo hoo! Ar, but she is a cruel mistress. She demands my constant love to keep her happy. Not that I don't often come home to find her cheating on me with my flat mate. She's jsut playing hard to get, although given that I've already paid for her you would've thought she'd stop that now. For any of you who are worried about the fact that I'm calling my 360 'she', you obviously haven't played one before. Or you're dead inside. It's beautiful. Unfortunately there are a shed load of great games out in November, so if anyone needs a spare kidney I'll be selling mine.

Also been watching lots of South Park recently, just because it's about as funny as a cartoon can get. The way they constantly lampoon society and the stupidity of everyday people is nothing short of inspiring. If you haven't watched it since the ol' days when it first came out then get along to TV Links and watch some of the later seasons. You won't be disappointed. Or if you are then you're not only dead inside, but your corpse is also rapidly decomposing.

Speaking of decomposing, my face seems to be doing that at a rapid rate. If you've noticed this, don't be alarmed. It's just highly contagious leprosy. Now we can be deformed together!